Currently Listening Anthems of Rebellion By Arch Enemy We Will Rise see related

Damn, it's been awhile since I last updated. Although as far as I can see, really nothing has changed. I'm still working in this boring job, waiting for my promotion to sales rep. Still having trouble securing my place at school. Still reaching for things that seem to keep eluding my grasp. Still striving to see what's on the otherside and still unable to get over. So, at the moment, it's hard to say whether things have gotten any better or worse.

I guess, after awhile, you do start to ask yourself "Why should I continue?" "Why even bother when I feel like I am lost?" Sadly, I can't even say that I have an answer to that. All I know is that I will perservere through this muddy trench until I find what lies for me over that burning hill and, until that glorious day, I'll just have to deal with this nonsense of repetion and stagnant lifestyles. It's funny, it really never turns out the way you would expect.

Currently Listening The Hinderers By Daath Subterfuge see related

The Deciding Factor

it's your fault, you tell your tales of loss
you clam that's not your fault
but you don't see yourself, inside your tomb
your mind's unable to solve
the end shall never resolve
your filthy thoughts rejoice 
in its lie...

Currently Listening God Hates Us All By Slayer Darkness Of Christ see related

BaCk In ThA hOoD

We hold these truths to be painfully self-evident
All men are not created equal
Only the strong will prosper
Only the strong will conquer
Only in the darkness of Christ have i realized
God Hates Us All

Fear, nothing more than a verb, but this verb is strong enough to make a man out of a boy, and a boy out of a man. In my example, my greatest fear is to turn out like my father. To prove him right where he must be wrong. On the one hand, this fear could cripple me and turn anyone into a rotten scoundrel. To repeat the mistakes of past generations is more than enough to have most hiding under a rock, waiting for the lost second coming of christ. On the other hand, this could just be the right fear that will help steer the course of my own life, to avoid such mistakes. To avoid turning into what we all fear, our parents.

This seems to be an interesting cycle. We have all seen it in one of those movies where the young man swears he will never be like his father yet, to the shocking conclusions of the audience, realizes that he has turned into a mirror image of dear old dad. We struggle as youths to live up to our parents expectations because they feel we should be like them. They expect us to mirror them and, sadly, we do. We do as chidlren for what else can we do. We dare not disobey they who feed and care for us. But as time shows its ugly head, we start getting our own ideas and our own values, contrary to the wishes of our caretakers. This is when they will start to pressure us with rules and regulations that will hinder our process and turn us into the mindless slobs that society governs. All the while we are taking in what ever mistakes they make. Will they ever realize their mistake? Will they ever mourn their actions?

The interesting thing is, they do know how it feels. They have gone through it. Their parents did the same to them and, in turn, they rebelled just as hard. They just get stuck in not becoming like their parents that they force their own rules and regulations, turning them into the "evil force sent to destroy our lives." So is it possible for us, generations later, to change this course and truly not end up as our adult figures? All we can do is hope.

From Hell's Army; Pt. 1 The Ascenssion to Heaven

         Standing over the smoldering cliff and peering out into the vastness below, I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of pride at the fact that I had made it where few others have. I would be leading Hell's army to the gates of Elohim. A chance that is not only once in a lifetime, but once in a millennia. It would have to be me to ride the bronzed chariots to his holiness' gates. And once we arrive at the gates, there will be nothing they can do to save themselves. I knew that before this was all over I would be holding YHVH's head.

        We ascended towards the heavens in a vast multitude. Last time this was attempted, there were only a third of heavens angels. Now it was constructed of the innumerable filth and desolated creatures of the darkness. We passed over the sun towards the gates. I could already see Michael's face with his brandished sword of the heavens fires. A weapon that once would have inspired fear into the hearts of any creature below the skies, now seemed so torn and rusted. The signs of many uses over the ages. Will it be able to stand against the Geheners, blades forged straight from the fires of Hell and stained by the blood of all the innocent who fell to our domain.

      As we came over the horizon, we could hear the horns of Gabriel warning the towers of our march towards the gates. If the scene could be seen by the eyes of man, our battalion would seem as a solar eclipse. Consuming the skies and encasing the planet in a coat of darkness. The demons waited for my command to attack. They seemed more anxious than I too start the battle. Some of them had been there for the first battle. Some had already felt the pains of their original defeat. The failure to resume thier old positions under God's reign.Yet now they had a new fire burning in them. There was no resuming under god, our goal was total control of the vast eternities to come. And the only way to accomplish this, the death of every immortal within the golden walls.